There was a brief period in my life when I worked as a Salmon Biologist and I loved to watch the salmon fighting the current, leaping over the falls, making their way upstream to lay their eggs. I have often felt like a salmon with respect to Life, as if I am constantly struggling against the current, trying to change my circumstances and yet, unlike the salmon, always failing, not actually getting anywhere.
My relationship with Life was not a good one; I was trying to control it, trying to change it, trying to improve it, and not trusting it. That is not the kind of relationship I would want with a partner and it is no longer the relationship I want with Life. I have, over the years, developed a different kind of relationship which has grown and matured slowly but steadily into one where I feel that I trust more and control less.
My intention now is to flow with Life; to allow myself to drift like the salmon drifting downstream after it has accomplished its task and goes back to sea (at least as the Atlantic Salmon do because the Pacific ones die after spawning). For really, my task is done. I have suffered enough, I have planted the seeds of health and well-being and it is time to reap what I have sown, to get back to the sea of joy and happiness. Flowing and trusting Life means that I allow the pain to be there, I allow my body to do what it needs to do, I allow all my feelings/emotions to flow, and I trust that even if I don’t know what it all means or why it is happening, that whatever is, is what needs to be and not only that, but is what is best for me and for the whole planet. Wanting things to be different comes from a place of lack and I choose to believe that I have everything I need and more and that if I don’t have what I want, it’s because I don’t need it, at least for the moment. Wanting blocks receiving. Receiving with gratitude engenders more receiving.
I now choose to have a harmonious joyful loving relationship with Life. When things don’t go my way, I stop, breathe, let the feelings flow, and remember that Life has my back, that it is all happening for a very good reason, for my highest good. Letting go of constant control feels very freeing and it allows new energy to enter into my life; I am often pleasantly surprised by events that are unexpected and fun. Life has a way of delighting me now that I have allowed it to be itself. I open myself by literally saying Yes, and Thank You when Life presents me with something unwanted and uncomfortable (or at least, I practice that to the best of my ability). Certainly, anger does come up and that is when Life gives me the opportunity to clear more negativity from my system which is in itself very freeing and healing. What comes up is always a gift if only to release the negativity in me which makes way for joy and bliss.
In the words of Mary O’Maley (in “What’s in the Way is The Way), “To awaken, it is important to know that there is no such thing as an ordinary moment. There are only two kinds of moments: Life is either inviting you to be fully open to Life right here, right now, or it is putting you in the situations that are needed to bring up what has been bound up inside of you so it can open up and be free.”
A significant shift came about when I started a very simple practice of appreciation. Every so often throughout the day, I look up at the sky (or at the ceiling), and say thank you to my guides and angels for showering upon me their love, their joy, their support, their inspiration, their guidance, their healing energy. It feels to me like opening a small faucet of gratitude and receiving a deluge of blessings. We all have an amazing number of celestial beings looking down at us with love and compassion, just waiting for us to open the conduit so that we can receive their help. More and more keeps coming and so I feel more and more gratitude. It increases exponentially day by day.
Thank you Life for bringing me flowers even if sometimes it takes a while for me to see that they are not weeds, that they are indeed very beautiful, always.